Welcome to the story of a charismatic, popular man and his shadow, a shadow revealed in the diary he leaves to an old friend, the book's narrator. Six years into his marriage to Pippa, Alex meets James, a young fashion student, and embarks on a voyage of sexual discovery. Initially his journey encounters frustrations when promising relationships fall short of his expectations and meet premature ends. Later his search is subverted by a hedonism that grows deeper to the point where love is left stranded and addiction to the darker sexual pleasures casts its long shadow over his life. Had his friends read his diaries, a paradox would have been apparent, that of an influential figure, completely in thrall to his pursuit of forbidden pleasures. As Pippa observed, Alex remained an enigma throughout his life. Only now, in his own words, is that enigma finally resolved and his mysterious death finally explained.
