Stop crying! The Goomba Diet is here—the dolce vita diet that shows you how to eat more, drink more, laugh more, live more, and feel great while you’re doing it. The Goomba Diet is the personal lifestyle guide from Steven R. Schirripa—Bobby “Bacala” Baccalieri from HBO’s hit series The Sopranos and author of the bestseller A Goomba’s Guide to Life.
Developed over decades of dreaming about and then living the high life, it’s a how-to guide for happy living—how to duke a maître d', how to order a good meal, how to be a good father, a good husband and a good friend, and how to behave at a wedding, a funeral, and on the job. You wanna have a good time? Do tip the maid; don’t tip the made guy. Do tip the D.J; don’t tip the D.A. Do tell the bride she’s beautiful; don’t tell her she’s hardly showing. Do give your kids an allowance; don’t offer to “make it interesting” by shooting craps for double or nothing.
The Goomba Diet offers sensible weight-loss tips for the guy who’s gone too far: Touch your toes. If this is difficult, pay a guy to do it for you. It also offers helpful maintenance tips for the goomba who’s the perfect weight and wants to stay that way: Cut out those carbs. Only eat pastas that end in the letter i.
So relax! Stop worrying about how much you’re eating, and start worrying about how much you’re enjoying it. Lose weight if you like—but live! Put a fork in your right hand, a hunk of bread in your left, and mangia like you mean it.
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